“Reach before teach” refers to the idea that before parents can effectively teach or impart knowledge, values, or behaviors to their children, they must first establish a strong and trusting relationship with them. This foundational relationship serves as a basis for open communication, mutual respect, and understanding.
Let’s take a closer look of the concept:
1. Building Trust:
Children are more likely to listen to and internalize teachings from parents they trust. Trust is cultivated through consistent support, understanding, and reliability.
Emily is a teenager who begins to show signs of stress and anxiety. Instead of immediately offering solutions or advice, her mother, Sarah, sits down with her and listens without judgment. Over time, Emily trusts her mother enough to open up about her feelings and concerns.
By prioritizing listening and understanding over immediate teaching or advising, Sarah establishes trust with Emily. Once that trust is solidified, Sarah can then offer guidance or teach coping mechanisms that Emily is more likely to accept and internalize.
2. Open Communication:
Before parents can effectively teach values or behaviors, they need to create an environment where children feel safe expressing their thoughts, concerns, and questions. This involves active listening, non-judgmental responses, and encouraging dialogue.
Liam is a 10-year-old boy who has questions about his changing body but feels embarrassed to talk to his parents. Recognizing this, his father, Mike, creates a safe space by initiating casual conversations about growing up, ensuring Liam knows he can ask anything.
By proactively addressing sensitive topics and encouraging dialogue, Mike paves the way for open communication. This foundation allows Liam to seek guidance and information from his father rather than turning elsewhere for potentially unreliable sources.
3. Modeling Behavior:
Children often learn by observing their parents. Therefore, before explicitly teaching certain values or behaviors, parents should model those behaviors in their own actions and interactions.
Sofia, a mother of two, wants her children to value kindness and empathy. Instead of merely lecturing them about these values, she consistently demonstrates them in her daily interactions, such as helping neighbors or practicing patience.
By consistently modeling kindness and empathy, Sofia’s children naturally absorb these values. They learn the importance of these behaviors not just through words but through observing their mother’s actions.
4. Understanding Individual Needs:
Every child is unique. Effective teaching requires parents to understand their child’s individual temperament, interests, and developmental stage. By reaching out and connecting with their child first, parents can tailor their teachings in a way that resonates with the child.
Two siblings, Ava and Noah, have different interests and learning styles. Ava loves reading and prefers quiet activities, while Noah is energetic and enjoys hands-on experiences. Recognizing these differences, their parents, Karen and Tom, tailor their teaching methods to each child’s preferences.
Karen and Tom reach out to Ava through book recommendations and quiet discussions, fostering her love for reading. For Noah, they engage in interactive learning activities that align with his energetic nature. By understanding and catering to each child’s individual needs, they ensure that their teachings resonate effectively.
In summary, “reach before teach” emphasizes the significance of relationship-building in parenting. By first establishing trust, fostering open communication, modeling desired behaviors, and understanding individual needs, parents can create a supportive environment where teachings are more likely to be embraced and internalized by their children.
